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Supporting Bereavement in the Workplace
A Helpful Guide for Managers
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Supporting a grieving employee can feel daunting. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing how to help. But your support – even the smallest gestures – can make a real difference during one of the most difficult times in someone’s life.
As a manager, you’re in a unique position to set the tone for how your team responds to bereavement. By approaching it with empathy, sensitivity, and clear communication, you can help your employee feel valued, seen, and supported – not just as a worker, but as a person.
At PMAC, we understand how complex bereavement can be, and how it affects people differently. We also know how important it is for managers to feel equipped to offer the right support.
In this guide, we’ll walk you through practical, compassionate ways to support an employee who is grieving, helping you build a workplace culture that prioritises both mental health and human kindness.
Understanding Grief: What Your Employee Might Be Going Through
Before you know how to support someone, it helps to understand what they might be going through. Grief isn’t just about sadness—it can touch every part of a person’s life, from their physical health and energy levels to their concentration and mood.
Common experiences include:
Emotional responses like shock, anger, guilt, numbness, or deep sadness
Cognitive effects such as forgetfulness, confusion, or difficulty making decisions
Physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or changes in sleep and appetite
It’s also important to remember that grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. Some people might return to work quickly and seem ‘fine’ on the surface, while still struggling underneath. Others may need more time or support than you’d expect.
In the workplace, grief might show up in subtle ways. A team member might seem withdrawn, easily irritated, or unusually distracted. They might be quieter than usual in meetings, or they may throw themselves into work as a distraction. There’s no right or wrong reaction—and that’s why flexibility, empathy, and ongoing communication matter so much.
By recognising the wide range of ways grief can affect people, you’re already taking a compassionate and informed step towards supporting bereavement in the workplace.
First Steps: What to Do When You Learn About a Bereavement
When someone on your team loses a loved one, it can be hard to know how to respond. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or not doing enough. But small, thoughtful actions can have a lasting impact—and they often matter more than you realise.
Start with sincere condolences
Begin by offering a genuine, personal acknowledgment. A simple “I’m so sorry for your loss” can go a long way. If you know the employee well, a more personal message or gesture—like a handwritten note or a bouquet of flowers from the team—can provide comfort and show you care.
Reach out as soon as you feel it’s appropriate, ideally in person, by phone or over video. If a direct conversation isn’t possible right away, a short and warm message is better than silence.
Listen with care—don’t rush the conversation
Try not to move too quickly into logistics or practicalities. Give your employee space to talk, and you should listen without judgement. You don’t need to offer advice or solutions. Your presence and willingness to listen are often enough.
Everyone reacts to grief differently. Some people may want to talk about it, but others may not. Let them take the lead in how much they share. Avoid phrases that minimise their experience, like “at least they ‘re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason.” Instead, just be kind, calm and open.
Ask what they need right now
It’s okay to gently ask if there’s anything they need in the moment. They may not know the answer straight away, but the invitation to express preferences is meaningful. You could ask whether they’d like the news shared with the wider team, or if they’d prefer to keep it private for now.
It’s also worth offering reassurance that there’s no pressure to make decisions about work immediately. Let them know they’ll be supported, and that flexibility is available if and when they need it.
Provide clear, compassionate information about leave
When the time feels right, talk them through what leave they can take. This might include compassionate leave, annual leave, or flexible working arrangements. Make sure they know what’s available and how to access it. Keep your language simple and reassuring because grief can make it pretty hard to process information.
By leading with empathy and patience, you create space for your employee to grieve without fear of judgement or pressure. Supporting bereavement in the workplace begins with these first moments of genuine care—and your approach will shape how safe and supported your employee feels moving forward.
What You Can Offer in Terms of Bereavement Leave and Flexibility
Time off after a bereavement isn’t just a legal matter—it’s a vital part of supporting your employee’s emotional wellbeing and helping them return to work feeling more able to cope.
What are your obligations as an employer?
Under UK law, all employees are entitled to a “reasonable” amount of unpaid time off to deal with an emergency involving a dependant, including death. But that’s just the legal minimum. Many organisations should offer compassionate leave—paid or unpaid—as part of their own internal policies.
As a manager, it’s important to know what’s available within your company and to be ready to offer additional flexibility when you need to. This could include:
• Paid compassionate or bereavement leave
• Annual leave or unpaid leave
• Temporary changes to working hours or location (e.g. working from home)
• A phased return to work after time off
Check your workplace bereavement policy and communicate it clearly and sensitively. If policies are vague or discretionary, use your judgement with compassion. Grief doesn’t disappear after a few days—most times, support is needed long after the funeral is over.
The case for flexible, compassionate approaches
Recent research supports what many managers already know instinctively: being kind and flexible leads to better outcomes for everyone.
A 2023 study by Hospice UK found that 57% of employees who had experienced a bereavement in the past five years felt they didn’t receive enough support from their employer. Many said they returned to work too soon because they felt pressure to ‘carry on’ or didn’t want to be seen as unreliable.
At the same time, workplaces that took a compassionate approach—offering flexibility, checking in regularly, and normalising conversations about grief—were linked to higher employee loyalty, improved wellbeing, and stronger team relationships.
You don’t need to have all the answers or a perfect process in place. Just being willing to talk, to make reasonable adjustments where possible, and to treat each case with care can make all the difference.
What flexibility could look like
Support might vary depending on the situation and the person. Some employees may want time and space away from work, while others may want to keep busy but benefit from lighter duties or reduced hours. You could consider:
• A phased return—gradually increasing hours or responsibilities
• Temporary workload adjustments or extra support from colleagues
• Time allowances for memorials, grief counselling, or support groups
• Check-ins to review how they’re coping and whether further adjustments are needed
Offering this kind of flexibility isn’t just kind—it’s also practical. It reduces the risk of burnout, absenteeism, and presenteeism, and helps people feel psychologically safe at work.
How to Communicate with the Wider Team: Balancing Privacy & Support
When a colleague experiences a bereavement, others in the team will likely be affected too—either emotionally, practically, or both. But how you communicate with the wider team can set the tone for how grief is acknowledged and supported across the workplace.
Always ask first
Before saying anything to the team, check in with the bereaved employee. Ask what they’d like others to know and how they’d prefer that information to be shared. Some people want their colleagues to be informed, while others may wish to keep things private. Respecting this choice is key.
If they’re open to sharing, you might offer to inform the team on their behalf—whether through a short email, a team meeting, or one-to-one conversations. Keep it simple, factual, and sensitive.
Model empathy and boundaries
You set the tone for how others respond. If you’re calm, respectful, and thoughtful in how you speak about the situation, your team is likely to follow your lead. It’s okay to acknowledge sadness or discomfort. You don’t need to overexplain or make grand gestures—just showing care is enough.
Encourage your team to offer support without putting pressure on the person affected. It’s fine to say something like “We’re thinking of you” or “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.” But it’s also okay to simply say nothing and hold space—that can be just as supportive.
Adjust expectations where needed
If the employee who is grieving plays a key role in team projects or daily operations, there may be practical implications. Be transparent about temporary changes, reassigning work, or adjusting deadlines, without going into personal detail. Clarity helps prevent confusion or resentment and keeps the focus on support and teamwork.
By handling communication with care, you help maintain trust, dignity, and a sense of safety—for the employee and the whole team.
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Creating a Supportive Culture for Grief and Loss
Supporting bereavement in the workplace isn’t just about offering compassionate leave—it’s also about how someone is welcomed back, how grief is talked about in the team, and how emotionally safe people feel day-to-day. A grief-aware workplace culture benefits everyone, not just those currently affected.
Normalise conversations about grief
Many people avoid talking about bereavement at work, unsure what to say or worried about saying the wrong thing. But silence can leave people feeling isolated. As a manager, you can lead by example—acknowledging grief, listening openly, and showing that it’s okay to be human at work.
You don’t have to be a counsellor. Just creating space for honest, compassionate conversations goes a long way.
Support the return to work after a bereavement
Coming back to work after a loss can feel overwhelming. With a bit of thought and flexibility, you can make this transition less stressful for your employee.
Here are some practical ways to support them:
• Reach out gently before their return – Ask how they’re feeling about coming back and what might help. Let them guide the conversation and respect their boundaries.
• Ask about preferences – Some people prefer a quiet return, while others may appreciate colleagues acknowledging their loss. Check in with them and communicate their wishes to the team where appropriate.
• Offer a phased return – A gradual build-up of hours or responsibilities can ease pressure and support emotional resilience.
• Adjust their workload – Keep things manageable at first. Avoid giving high-stress tasks unless they’ve said they’re ready.
• Allow for breaks – Grief can be exhausting. Short, regular breaks or quiet spaces can help them recharge during the day.
• Provide a clear point of contact – Let them know who they can speak to if they’re struggling, whether that’s you, someone in HR, or a mental health champion.
• Stay flexible – Grief isn’t linear. Check in regularly and adapt your support as their needs evolve.
Returning to work isn’t just about showing up at a desk—it’s about feeling seen, supported, and safe enough to re-engage at your own pace.
Embed grief awareness in your culture
To truly support bereavement in the workplace, it helps to go beyond one-off responses. Think about including grief awareness in your wellbeing strategy or HR policies. Make sure people know what support is available and consider offering mental health training for managers and teams.
When employees feel safe to bring their whole selves to work—including their grief—they’re more likely to stay connected, motivated, and mentally healthy in the long run.
Grief Doesn't Follow a Time Limit
Grief isn’t a straight line. It doesn’t follow a schedule or disappear after a set number of days. For some people, the hardest moments come weeks or even months after the funeral—often just as the world around them expects them to be “back to normal.”
Look out for delayed or ongoing struggles
You may notice changes in your employee’s behaviour or performance long after their initial return to work. They might seem withdrawn, less focused, or easily overwhelmed. Rather than assuming they’ve moved on, check in gently. A simple “How are you getting on these days?” can open the door for support.
Others may throw themselves into work to avoid difficult feelings. While this might seem productive at first, it can lead to burnout if grief isn’t acknowledged or supported.
Keep communication open
Don’t assume that one conversation is enough. Make it clear that your door is open, whether they want to talk, request adjustments, or just need some space. Even if they don’t take you up on it, knowing that option is there can be hugely reassuring.
You might also want to remind them that support services—such as employee assistance programmes or counselling—are available, even well after the loss.
Being patient and understanding during the long tail of grief shows your employee they’re not just a resource—they’re a valued human being in your workplace.
Supporting Yourself & Other Managers
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. You’re not expected to play the role of therapist. Your job is to create a safe, supportive environment—one where people feel heard, not “fixed.” Don’t be hard on yourself if things feel awkward or emotionally heavy at times.
If you’re affected by the loss personally—perhaps it was someone you worked closely with—it’s important to seek your own support. That could mean speaking to your own manager, taking time out, or accessing professional help.
Encourage shared responsibility
You don’t need to handle everything alone. Encouraging a culture of care means the whole team contributes to a supportive environment. This could involve peer check-ins, buddy systems, or simply giving permission for people to look after one another in quiet, consistent ways.
And if you’re ever unsure about how best to support someone, don’t hesitate to reach out for guidance. Whether it’s from HR, occupational health, or a mental health training provider, getting advice can help you feel more confident and supported yourself.
Final Thoughts: Every Act of Kindness Matters
Supporting bereavement in the workplace isn’t about having the perfect words or polished policies. It’s about showing people they matter—even during the hardest times.
Whether it’s offering time off, making space to talk, or simply checking in weeks after the loss, your actions as a manager shape how safe and supported your team feels at work.
If you’d like to feel more confident in handling sensitive conversations, or if you’re looking to build a grief-aware, mentally healthy culture in your workplace, we’re here to help.
At PMAC, we provide Bespoke Mental Health Training designed to help managers and teams respond to challenges with empathy and clarity. Our training is practical, psychologically-informed, and tailored to real-world workplace needs.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to care—and we’ll help you take it from there.
Originally published: 10/04/2025
Last updated: 10/04/2025